Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Fat Girls Are A Man's Best Friend

Anyone who knows me....knows that I have always had a bunch of close male friends. Ever since I was a little girl, members of the male species have always wanted to be my BEST FRIEND. Obviously there's something about me that all men love, and I think I've figured it out.....they love my FAT!!!

Come men all know you have one!!! The fat girl who you hang out with all the time, confide in her about your insecurities and fears, invite her over for quality friendship time. Sometimes she'll even spend the love to cuddle and feel the jiggly warmth of her fat rolls. And, oh my God...she actually has titties.....big ones....pretty ones....but that's just "your girl"....your "best friend", right?

She's funny, extremely intelligent and you love her! You probably even secretly want to sleep with her, but you can't...she's fat!! Not only will your boys clown you, but you know that if you had to choose one extreme, it is more important to be miserable and bored with a chick with a banging body than it is to be fulfilled and happy with a fat chick!! Plus, you can always have the skinny chick as wifey and keep the fat girl as the "best friend" because your girlfriend would never think you would cheat on her with the Big Girl!! Even though deep in her heart, your girlfriend knows that you love and respect the fat girl in ways that she will never receive..she doesn't mind because after all she's the catch!!!

Recently, a wife of one of my "best male friends" called me to see how comedy was going for me. I told her that I was trying to lose weight and she said "Girl, you ain't hanging around my husband when you lose weight. He loves you too much...and if you get "thick" I know I'm out of the picture!"

Now, I know she was just kidding...but it did make me think...while my weight has been a burden in some has also made people feel "safe." Will losing weight mean that I will also lose the coveted position of being every man's FAT BEST FRIEND?

DANGER!!! BEWARE !! All men watch out for the shrinking fat may actually fall in love!!!

Anyway, after years of being the surrogate fat girlfriend for a bunch of guys that secretly love me, but won't date would think that I would be bitter, but I am not!! Actually I feel blessed because I have become an expert on men and relationships. See, I get to know the inner workings of men in ways that no skinny chick ever will. Men tell me everything!!! Even things that their boys will never know about them, they tell me. From my close male friends that work on wall street or play professional sports all the way to my home boy that works in construction, I have the heart of men. I may not get the sex, but I get their respect and love, which many times is more than the women that come and go in their lives ever will.

As a joke, a friend of mine forwarded me an ad on Craigslist. A guy, who is shy and not able to meet women, wanted a BBW to be his wing-man! He actually put up an AD asking for an attractive full-figured woman to go with him to bars and help him meet woman. Ofcourse I could not resist applying for the job! Not because I was really interested, but because I wanted to know why he wanted a fat best female friend.

He told me that full-figured women are much more easy going. He is a former college athlete, who plays ball overseas and he was tired of model chicks because they were high maintanance. He said he enjoyed the company of big girls, and that skinny women also like having big girls as friends because they are less threatening.
So I asked him "If you like the personality of a BBW, how about you put up an AD to date one?"
He responded "Damn, I never thought of that!"

GO FIGURE! (no pun intended!)

I recenlty started attending a fitness bootcamp with a wonderful trainer named Aja Davis ( One day while running around the gym, I realized that I have the possibility to lose more than just weight. It's not just the size of my waist that will relationships...and the way people relate to me will change as well!!!I love all of my male friends....I've been one of the boys so long that I don't know how to be anything else. What will I do if losing weight also means losing the place I have in my boys their hearts.....Am I ready for that....?

Now, don't get me wrong....plenty of men like BIG GIRLS....and I meet them all the it's not like I've been some ugly duckling that gets no play. And even though most of my close male friends say they are not attracted to BIG GIRLS, many of them have found themselves being attracted to my mind and spirit...and eventually attraction to my body followed....but my weight still held them back...I know it!! So this time..the questions is not "can men and women be friends?"...but instead....Can men and former fat girls stay friends ? We shall see.......I haven't lost any male friends yet...but I did lose 5 more pounds! Thank u AJA DAVIS!!!

**And before wives start calling me...this issue does not apply to my TRUE BLUE male friends that love me like a sister. But the ones it does apply to know who they are...they are constantly offering to buy me a treadmill for my b-day!!

**And also, before you write me saying "I am a big girl, and men love to date me" I GET IT!! I date all the time, and have plenty of male fans! But this blog entry is about the guy who is afraid to go there!!! Not the ones that go there all of the time (if you know what I mean)!

Love & Laughter,
Erica Watson


achoiceofweapons said...

I married a big girl. dated more than a few and my thick chicks too. Personality and essence will not change so don't worry about your form. Look we love big girls for all the reasons you mentioned Lucsious Tatas, nice kissable muscle(not fat) squeezable tushie, (wait a minute ! BRB)

Needed some ice there! (smile)
Look lose the weight and be the healtiest person you can be. Now I know there are plenty of healthy big girls and plenty who are just as flexable, athletic and limber as the skinnest model chick but clearly it would seem one you want to clear the obstacles that impede you getting the man totally. Cool do it! Essence does not change you will still be YOU!
Love your blog.
I'm on the 30 day no soda challenge.

The Big Girl Blog! said...

Wow @ what your friends wife said... that's crazy reality. Us loosing weight would make us the perfect chick... scary/inspiring ;-)

Unknown said...

wow I damn near only have male friends,is that the reason?...thanks sista I have been enlightened aint that a biotch

achoiceofweapons said...

I passed this on to Curvy Stef. She needed it!

Miss.Stefanie said...

I did need this blog thanks to Mista Jaycee...It really opened up my eyes and made me feel better about myself. Thank you. I needed this.

Hailey & Jared said...

I understand completly about being the "pretty face" and the "best friend" the only problem is that I hate it! I am so tired of my weight holding me back(especially in the love department) but I have battled with it since 5th grade...It's never ending. My heart can't take it any longer, I feel as though it is an impossible dream.

Unknown said...

I love this post! I have a gang load of male friends, and it's always been easier for me to hang out with guys. The girlfriends are threatened by me and the guys can't deal with me being just the normal, laid back fat friend. Now that I'm out dating & glammed up they are definitely looking at me another way... this post just proved what I was feeling!

JM said...

Some men may have fat female friends, but trust me, very few are sexually attracted to them. To believe otherwise is just wishful thinking. A lot of fat women seem to have been brainwashed by the mantra "real women have curves," but men do not see a big gut and fat rolls as curves. Fat chicks as friends for guys are the equivalent as nice guys as friends for women.

MR said...

Fat girls always put other people down to make themselves feel good. I cant stand fat chicks that are loud, and mask their insecurities by always trying to be funny. They always wanna talk about food and its soo annoying. Mebbe fat chicks should sit down and consider how others view them. Not all fat chicks are like this. I love the confident ones who know they are beautiful. Funny cuz these chicks actually get the guy unlike the ones who like to complain instead of fixing their fat ass up. And embracing the world and their rolls.

MR said...

I personally think fat chicks need to lose a bit of weight, fix themselves up and stop putting skinny girls or pretty girls down. Its annoying and that's why they don't get the guy. Because they are annoying.

JennyLovee said...

this was absolutely beautiful :) well to me it is -___- but anyways, you've just proven that, not only drop dead gorgeous skinny fitted women can have their fun with the men, but us thick thighs & pretty eyed women can too ;D thank you so much for this! YOU TOTALLY ROCK!

Mags said...

Girl...awesome post!! I am so loving you right now :)

Rezbabe said...

Dats wusS reaLLy up! I feeL tha same way 100%...All my native hoMeboyz luvv the crap outta me...i started losing theRe ol ladys wont let us chill NEmore! =/ ...i got haters for me being me, but thinner now. Im married 2 the love of my life. And there still trippin! BuT I figure it'll be aight cuz im doin me and iF mah boyz R truly my boyz theyll come back around. I now got a feel for whos whipped, whos insecure, and whos true blue ride or die. ^^

leading said...

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Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

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BBW said...

Ty I am 15 and weigh a lot but this has made me wanna make a change so I thank u for giving my my straight

Terry said...

Most men like skinny girls and that needs no proof. However, for a guy, it's like hitting Achilles' heel when his friends don't find a girl he likes appealing. Hmm...I believe that mature men are more attracted to a woman's personality rather than her size.

Terry Bayer

lasheena mcclary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I hate when people say fat people are annoying, you can't get mad at the underdog for complaining. That's like rich people getting mad that poor people are sad. Me I'm a plus size model I've often been told I'm very pretty, I dress nice and and take care of myself definitely not sloppy. But I have insecurities from being teased as a child and people don't realize how different they treat me than a skinny girl. Before someone even gets to know me I'm categorized. I've often been the victim of the skinny best friend only keeping me around to coax her ego, or millions of guy friends, or guys pursuing me only because of sexual fetishes but no interest to date me.

His Secret Obsession said...

If your man is pushing you away and acting distant

Or if the guy you’re after isn’t giving you the time of day...

Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing you can say to a standoffish guy that will grab him by the heartstrings-

And get his blood pumping at just the thought of you.

Insert subject line here and link it to <=========> Your ex won’t be able to resist?

Once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you-

And even begging to be with you.

Here’s what I’m talking about:

Insert subject line here and link it to <========> Is your man hiding something? He may need your help?

Thanks again.